2 years old

 Today has been so happy and bittersweet at the same time. It's hard to believe that just 2 years ago I had my little bubby and held him as a newborn in my arms at the hospital. He is now so big I can hardly believe it. I have cried alot today. Probably a mixture of being very very pregnant and emotional, but it seems like life goes by so fast sometimes; I just want to hold onto Calvin and never let him grow up!
 
  Jess is in Cabo until tomorrow night so we will not celebrate his birthday until the day after Thanksgiving when his parents will be down here too so that will be really fun for Calvin! All I got him (since I know he is going to be spoiled by everyone else), are some little toy cars. He LIVES for cars. Anything and everything that resembles a car or has wheels is a "beep-beep". Just yesterday my Mom gave him some CARS fruitsnacks like the movie and he was so thrilled with them that he played with them for over an hour until we literally forced him to eat them! He just kept lighting up and lifting them up to my Mom and going "It's a beep-beep!!!" He is so cute I could just eat him up!
 
  I am not going to lie, this summer Calvin and I had some hard times. What toddler and his mother do not? But since we have been home I have noticed a miraculous turn around. Maybe I just have more patience? Either way, he has become so much easier to reason with, and he hardly ever gets time outs anymore. If you were with me this summer you would know that he spent some whole days it seemed like in time-outs and would act out and hit me and it would upset me so greatly that I would cry ALOT. Not now. He has always been such a sweet loving boy but for those few months this summer I wondered where oh where had my sweet boy gone? He's back :) That's for sure! I am just so glad we made it through our rough little patch, and really hope that it's gone for good!
 
  Anyway, I could go on forever about my baby boy, but I am so tired I should probably go to sleep. I just thought I would share a cute story about him. I don't think I have ever talked about how hair is his comfort. From day one as soon as he could, he would reach up for my hair and hold it and it comforted him. He started doing it when I would feed him, and then even when he switched to bottles he would want to sit in my lap and reach up for my hair. To put himself to sleep he grabs his own hair and strokes it until he falls asleep. I have always found it so sweet, and last night he had a really hard time sleeping for some odd reason. I eventually gave in and just let him come into bed with me. Since Jess is gone I have been lonely anyways, and I never say no to snuggling with my bubby. Even once in bed with me with his bunny and his monkey stuffed animals of course, he had a hard time falling back asleep. I was exhausted, but seriously when am I not exhausted these days?  But, I turned over because my hip was starting to kill me the way I had been laying with him, and now my back was to him. He immediately rolled over and just put both his hands into my hair and stroked it and held it until he fell asleep. I have no idea how long it took because it felt so good that it put me to sleep too!

   I love you so very much Calvin. Even though it's hard for me to watch you grow up so fast I love the little man you are becoming. You have brought so much joy into my life, and have opened my heart to love that I never knew I could have. Meeting your Dad and falling in love with him; I thought that was the most love I could feel for someone. That was until I saw your beautiful face for the first time and I felt like my heart grew 5 times the size. I know that having your baby sister is going to be hard for you at first but you will be such an amazing older brother, and will be such an amazing example and protector for all your siblings. I am honored to be able to be your Mother, and  never forget how much I love you. Ever.